Sunday, July 27, 2008

Frat Masseur

I had a massage yesterday. Considering the fact that the last massage I had may have very well put me into labor, this one was a lot less eventful.

My masseur was a dude. And by dude, I don't mean man. I mean, Texan accented, goateed, 22 year old, can just picture him with a backwards baseball cap shotgunning beers while playing X Box in his frat house dude. Frat Masseur.

Don't get me wrong, it was a great massage. Fantastic in fact. Probably the best massage I've had since I visited this place. But I've always gotten massages by women. Not by choice, it's just worked out that way. I've decided, though, that there's something about a masseur that just tops a masseuse, technique-wise. Hmm. Maybe thumb strength.

But while I've decided that I think men might give better massages, I have to say that it was a bit weird yesterday. I never thought I would give a crap who massaged me, as long as they kept it going and didn't try to make chit chat with me or pop my toes. I hate the toe popping thing. It must have been the traumatic toe popping I endured from a babysitter when I was little. Seriously, who pops a kid's toes and thinks it's funny? But I digress. I don't think it was simply because he was a guy. I've had masseurs before, but they were clearly not interested in anything I might have to show them, if you get my drift. So maybe that's it. Or maybe because he was so young, so...DUDE LIKE. Or a combination of all of those things. I don't know, it was kind of a weird vibe though.

He was completely professional, don't get me wrong, and I'm clearly not interested in or attracted to Frat Masseur. I'm just saying, I've never worried that my pedicure wasn't up to snuff when I've had a woman give me a massage. So I wonder now, should I go back to him? I hate to give up a really great massage because of my bizarre hetero hang up. But then, part of a massage is so you can totally relax, and what if I can't totally relax because I'm wondering if I remembered to shave my legs? Hmm. Maybe I'll give him one more try. Hopefully he will either 1) age 20 years between now and then or 2) start talking about his life partner during my next session. Either way is fine with me.

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